Another Debacle

The pharmacist eyes you suspiciously, and suddenly you wished you had shaved earlier this morning... your second-grade teacher is in line behind you, talking to your girlfriends mother... as the pharmacist yells for all to hear, 'I'm sick of YOU PEOPLE-- and I'm not filling this for you anymore!' Or your doctor, after increasing your pain meds for years, suddenly treats you like a criminal...
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Lillyval
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Another Debacle

Post by Lillyval » Fri Oct 23, 2020 6:05 pm

I apologize that I only ever come on here to tell my latest doctor/pharmacy crisis. Those who know me remember I switched to a clinic because my psychiatrist was getting ready to retire. The clinic had a strict 28 day rule, and kept messing up, the last time letting me go 3 days over New Years without medication.

I switched to a primary care physician. Even though I have a record of 3 years with no using or missing any appointments I still had to start at once a week, once every two weeks, and I was about to go up to once a month. The DAY I was to get my first 30 day supply they said I tested positive. WHAT!? I had no idea what that was about, but then I remembered I ate two big lemon poppyseed muffins the day before. I told them and of course they said that couldn’t be it. So they gave me a script for 4 days and said I had to come back to see the doctor.

So I fought Friday traffic after work, waited an hour and all they did was take another urine. Didn’t even get to talk to the doctor, even though I had paperwork in hand about false positives from poppy seeds. So I said, am I going to get my prescription?they said, the doctor has to “make a decision”. Mind you I have given at least 10 negative urines, never missed an appointment, etc. Well now it’s 7:00 on a Friday night and no “decision”. I can’t take this anymore. I used to get a 30 day supply with 2 refills and stockpiled extras. Now I can’t even get a 30 day supply ever, my stockpile will be gone after this latest episode, and I don’t even know if I’m kicked out or not.

For those who don’t know me, the irony is I’m a substance abuse counselor and would NEVER treat a client like this. I’ve tried 2 clinics and 2 doctors in the last year, and now I have a high opioid risk score.(My psychiatrist told me). I haven’t used in years. I’m so upset I WANT to use now. And I’m looking at going cold turkey off Suboxone, something I did once before and don’t want to repeat.

After my spotless record they won’t give me the benefit of the doubt. They trust the drug test. Once an addict, always an addict. Until I get off of this again I will constantly have to fight this battle.

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rule62
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Re: Another Debacle

Post by rule62 » Sat Oct 24, 2020 1:50 pm

What an awful story Lilly. It makes me feel guilty sometimes that I've never had any problems getting my Suboxone. Of course, if we move again that may cause issues trying to find another supportive doctor. I was lucky to find 2 in 2 states.

Being in the field you know more that most about how to go about finding a decent doctor. Not sure what state you're in but from reading posts here it seems the southern states have most of the difficulties with us addicts. Keep up the good fight and keep us posted. Sure hope you get some before going through w/d's.
Don't take yourself so damn seriously

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Lillyval
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Re: Another Debacle

Post by Lillyval » Sun Oct 25, 2020 7:18 am

Thanks Rule. I live in a very progressive, educated New England state. When I wrote that Friday I will still hoping I’d call the pharmacy yesterday and find out it was sent in, but no. I used to have over a month’s stockpile but I’ve had gaps without medication as long as 5 days, plus 1-3 days here and there, and have helped friends who are going through the same thing. Now I’m very low.
But the worst thing, honestly, is the humiliation. I had an argument with the nurse in the HALL Friday, because they didn’t even bring me into an exam room, and I was saying I didn’t use and I was out of meds. Then I noticed the people waiting in chairs looking at me, and I felt like they’re just looking at me like some junkie who begging for more Suboxone because I’m using, diverting or whatever.
I never got a call, an explanation, nothing. It’s like I’m not a worthy human being. And this is after everything I’ve done to get and stay sober..detox, treatment, therapy, meetings, groups, medication compliance. I’m a working, productive member of society and haven’t used for YEARS but they might as well have just spit on me.

I’m not ready to taper off, but I’m going to have to. This is 2 clinics + 2 doctors offices in the last year, which also looks bad for me. But every time I would go for a long weekend a couple times without medication because of the doctor/ clinic, I would decide to switch (plus other reasons as well ). I live in a small town and I’m out of options.

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