There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

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Kickingthedemon88
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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by Kickingthedemon88 » Mon Mar 26, 2018 6:30 pm

Congrats! I went cold turkey from 16-28mg a day which i know now was way too much lol. Day 22 here and my only issue is low energy and lack of motivation. I want my natural energy back so bad but I know that will take time. I had it harder than you it seems but mine came on faster. Days 2-7 were my worst and by day 8-9 I was able to start sleeping again. Those first 7 days my resteless and burning shoulders would keep me up all night long to the point I was lucky to get 2 hrs of sleep. Never missed any work though until i caught a stomach virus on day 17 which i still have a few lingering effects from. Each day gets a little better. Our day is coming where we wake up and have natural energy to get us through the day

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by subtaperingnow » Tue Mar 27, 2018 8:24 am

I missed you as well. I'm happy to see that your doing well, it makes me feel like I can do it again. You are right about keeping yourself busy. That is something I didn't do when I jumped off before, I just sat around and suffered for the most part. Which made the suffering 10 times worse in my opinion. When I jumped off last year I was highly addicted to subutex, and I can admit that. I felt the need to take it all day long. Of course that made it hard, but the hardest part was the psychological issues that felt never ending. Then getting on Wellbutrin was the biggest mistake, that took me over the edge.

I suffered for so many months before my jump from tapering that mentally I couldn't take anymore. I know you tapered down to 1mg over a long period of time, therefore I believe I will be better off this time. I am not sure how I will do it this time being that I am only taking 30 micrograms, and there are times I forget to take it which would have never happened a year ago. I remember the tapering last year was the worst, the suffering every day for months. I forced myself out last time, no matter how painful it was and that was just dumb. I think when my daughter is out of school for the summer I will do it then, and may not even taper being that I am at a jumping dose.

I just worry about going to work like that, my job is demanding and I worked so hard to get a good job. I also know that sitting around makes my mind race, and that makes the withdrawals worse. When I decide to do it I will keep you guys updated. I plan on trying not to make a big deal out of it, and just give it a try. I still have gabapentin and clonidine from the doctor last year so I will take that if needed. I would love to give it a try now, but with my daughter in school I think it's better to wait a few months. It's nice to know that I don't have to taper from 8mg again that's for sure.

I do struggle with pains in my legs now and numbness, I am also tired a lot so I want people to know that if your body is saying no.. don't jump. I am having long term issues because I forced myself off, and I may have done damage. I take really good care of myself hoping that one day I will feel good again.

BTW, you have given me so much hope that I can do this. I understand that you still struggle I believe this is a life long battle, but you prove that you can beat the cravings and depression when they arise. And as you said before the biggest thing is keeping yourself busy.

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by wiichongo_mhngy » Tue May 01, 2018 6:40 am

Alright everyone, I'm sorry for being a ghost for the last month. A couple times I tried posting and it wouldn't work. I think there was an issue with my PC not the website. I'm also back to more than full-time at my job. I've been busy and in my downtime I've been finding new things to do. It sort of slipped my mind to post as well.

But today is the day. One f***ing year!
It was a battle, a journey, and a war.

Kickingtheremon88 I'm sorry for not responding sooner but I hope you are still doing well. When that natural energy comes back it is the greatest thing. Mine came back rather fast, but everyone's different and you jumped from a higher dose than I did. I gotta say though, when your natural energy comes back it almost feels like a high of its own. I wish you the best of luck.

Subtaperingnow I'm happy to hear you're still doing good. Continue doing what you need to do in order to be and stay happy. If staying on tiny doses is the answer, then so be it. I believe the Wellbutrin is what really messed you up during your withdrawals, and I know that you're more than strong enough to do it all again on your own terms.

Amy and Jennifer, I wanna thank you both for the constant support and I'm sorry I never answered sooner. I hope I didn't worry anyone that I relapsed when I made that comment about thinking about how it would be easier to deal with stress by doing an opiate. It was taken slightly out of context as I would never do that. I have a lot of willpower. More than I ever thought I did. That's what I found most compelling about this journey - the test of your strength. There are opiates in my house and the thought has never even crossed my mind to take them. I got two wisdom teeth taken out and was offered Vicodin and told the dentist Motrin only. I know that if I ever did an opiate again the amount of guilt I would feel would eat me alive. I'd feel like I let my family down and it would crush me.

Anyway, so after one whole year I can say I'm nearly back to 100%. My pre-existing anxiety may be a bit worse than it was before I quit, but I expected that as I know I'm probably still experiencing very minor PAWS. Apart from the slightly higher anxiety I just get like one or two bad days a month in terms of depression. It's not bad depression, it's just lack of motivation and minor dissociation which is probably more of an anxiety thing than depression. But as I've stated in my last however many posts, you just gotta find a way to keep yourself busy on the depressed days. You just trick your body by distracting itself from thinking its depressed. On days you feel depressed the worst thing to do in my opinion is lay in bed and watch tv. You need to do something that will get your mind active or your body active. Even if that means playing a video game or an app. At least you'll be doing some cognitive thinking and even the minor finger movements will help.

I still get no cravings at all. I still don't even have dreams about subs or any drugs for that matter.

I've achieved things in this past year too. March 6th marked two years since I quit smoking weed. April 26th marked two years since I quit smoking cigarettes. I quit drinking this past December (I don't remember the exact date unfortunately, but it was about a week or two before New Years because I celebrated without even a sip of alcohol). I've also lost 40lbs since January believe it or not! When I quit smoking cigarettes I gained a bit of weight, and quitting subs also made me gain a lot of weight. But I took most of that weight off. Another 20-30lbs and I'll be at my desired weight - 200lbs which is how much I weighed before I quit smoking.

Anyway, than you all for the love and support over the last year. I'm not entirely sure I would have been this successful if it weren't for all of you and documenting my journey with you all.

I know that just because I made it one year, doesn't mean it's over. I will continue to post as often as I can. I will always post on the first of every month because every first marks another month of sobriety for me. But I will try and post more than just once a month.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all again. I'm currently at work and I need to cut this short. Also, I apologize for any grammatical errors or misspelling of words that may be in this post - I broke my phone screen and can barely see anything I'm typing and some sections of my touch screen don't work properly. Hopefully there aren't too many typos and you can all read this coherently.

Love you all ❤️
Here is my own family tradition; following footsteps into addiction
So, is there a way where I can find peace while still numbing my pain?

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by jennjenn » Tue May 01, 2018 9:15 am

Congratulations Wii on 1 whole year!!!!
I’m so proud of u and I think ur going to be just fine! U seem like u have a smart way of doing things and thinking things out. Oh and I never took it that u had possibly relapsed because of something u wrote in an earlier post. That never crossed my mind once. It’s pretty normal for those that have tapered off to not post very often because they’re bk to the hustle and bustle of life and hopefully happily at that. So no worries there :)

Please keep coming bk, even if it’s months in between (hopefully it’ll be more often than that). Ur in a position to show ppl really do succeed after this treatment.

Good luck!!
Jennifer

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by Anonymouse » Tue May 01, 2018 9:21 am

wiichongo_mhngy wrote:Alright everyone, I'm sorry for being a ghost for the last month. A couple times I tried posting and it wouldn't work. I think there was an issue with my PC not the website. I'm also back to more than full-time at my job. I've been busy and in my downtime I've been finding new things to do. It sort of slipped my mind to post as well.

But today is the day. One f***ing year!
It was a battle, a journey, and a war.

Kickingtheremon88 I'm sorry for not responding sooner but I hope you are still doing well. When that natural energy comes back it is the greatest thing. Mine came back rather fast, but everyone's different and you jumped from a higher dose than I did. I gotta say though, when your natural energy comes back it almost feels like a high of its own. I wish you the best of luck.

Subtaperingnow I'm happy to hear you're still doing good. Continue doing what you need to do in order to be and stay happy. If staying on tiny doses is the answer, then so be it. I believe the Wellbutrin is what really messed you up during your withdrawals, and I know that you're more than strong enough to do it all again on your own terms.

Amy and Jennifer, I wanna thank you both for the constant support and I'm sorry I never answered sooner. I hope I didn't worry anyone that I relapsed when I made that comment about thinking about how it would be easier to deal with stress by doing an opiate. It was taken slightly out of context as I would never do that. I have a lot of willpower. More than I ever thought I did. That's what I found most compelling about this journey - the test of your strength. There are opiates in my house and the thought has never even crossed my mind to take them. I got two wisdom teeth taken out and was offered Vicodin and told the dentist Motrin only. I know that if I ever did an opiate again the amount of guilt I would feel would eat me alive. I'd feel like I let my family down and it would crush me.

Anyway, so after one whole year I can say I'm nearly back to 100%. My pre-existing anxiety may be a bit worse than it was before I quit, but I expected that as I know I'm probably still experiencing very minor PAWS. Apart from the slightly higher anxiety I just get like one or two bad days a month in terms of depression. It's not bad depression, it's just lack of motivation and minor dissociation which is probably more of an anxiety thing than depression. But as I've stated in my last however many posts, you just gotta find a way to keep yourself busy on the depressed days. You just trick your body by distracting itself from thinking its depressed. On days you feel depressed the worst thing to do in my opinion is lay in bed and watch tv. You need to do something that will get your mind active or your body active. Even if that means playing a video game or an app. At least you'll be doing some cognitive thinking and even the minor finger movements will help.

I still get no cravings at all. I still don't even have dreams about subs or any drugs for that matter.

I've achieved things in this past year too. March 6th marked two years since I quit smoking weed. April 26th marked two years since I quit smoking cigarettes. I quit drinking this past December (I don't remember the exact date unfortunately, but it was about a week or two before New Years because I celebrated without even a sip of alcohol). I've also lost 40lbs since January believe it or not! When I quit smoking cigarettes I gained a bit of weight, and quitting subs also made me gain a lot of weight. But I took most of that weight off. Another 20-30lbs and I'll be at my desired weight - 200lbs which is how much I weighed before I quit smoking.

Anyway, than you all for the love and support over the last year. I'm not entirely sure I would have been this successful if it weren't for all of you and documenting my journey with you all.

I know that just because I made it one year, doesn't mean it's over. I will continue to post as often as I can. I will always post on the first of every month because every first marks another month of sobriety for me. But I will try and post more than just once a month.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all again. I'm currently at work and I need to cut this short. Also, I apologize for any grammatical errors or misspelling of words that may be in this post - I broke my phone screen and can barely see anything I'm typing and some sections of my touch screen don't work properly. Hopefully there aren't too many typos and you can all read this coherently.

Love you all ❤️


WOW, one year is awesome!! Congrats!
“Truth is treason in an empire of lies.” George Orwell

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by subtaperingnow » Tue May 01, 2018 4:43 pm

I am so happy to hear that your doing good. It definitely is a battle that is for sure. You made it a full year that is amazing. I hope I can make it as well. I was taking the small doses, but I did jump off I'm on my 10th day. I didn't really go through any withdrawals to be honest.

It is still shocking to me, and I am in disbelief by it. I went through hell last year, and you know that.. so its nice to be able to get off with hardly any problems. The only problem I have is sweating a little that's it. I did the right thing by going back on it, and staying at a low dose because now I'm off with almost no withdrawals. Anyways, I hope you keep doing great, and update on here.

1 year is a huge accomplishment :D

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by wiichongo_mhngy » Wed May 02, 2018 4:09 pm

Thanks everyone!
Subtaperingnow, you've got this!
I didn't know you jumped off again. Good luck, but I don't think you'll need it.
You're strong, as are all of you others who have gone through this and helped me along the way.
Here is my own family tradition; following footsteps into addiction
So, is there a way where I can find peace while still numbing my pain?

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by rule62 » Wed May 02, 2018 6:32 pm

Wow! Two people with success stories!! You two made my day.
Don't take yourself so damn seriously

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by subtaperingnow » Tue May 08, 2018 6:41 pm

Thanks, hopefully I can make it to a year like you. I have a lot of hope, because I'm not suffering constantly like before.. I'm really not suffering at all.

And thanks rule62 I'm just taking it one day at a time :D

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by Arcnium » Tue May 29, 2018 10:14 pm

I totally agree. I hate tapers. I feel people still spend half their taper goin through it, they dread that looking final dose, and it gives people false hope. There WILL BE discomfort. Embrace the suck it's mild compared to the full opiates. Good luck all.

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by wiichongo_mhngy » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:32 pm

Hey everyone! Sorry I'm so bad at this. I've meant to update several times but I've been very busy and not feeling well. Don't worry, the not feeling well has been due to my sinusitis and my three day long migraines.

11 days ago marked my 14 month! I still can't believe it - especially how freaking fast the time went by.

Sorry I have to keep this update short as my phone screen is hurting my eyes and only making my migraine worse.

In terms of withdrawals, depression, and cravings - I haven't experienced any in a bit. I had depression prior to quitting subs and I think the minor depression I do feel is just my pre-existing depression and not from PAWS or anything. But I haven't felt any sort of withdrawal for a while and literally not a single craving. I'm doing great (apart from my sinusitis and migraines).

I wish you all well and the best of luck on your journeys.

I promise I will try to post more often.
Here is my own family tradition; following footsteps into addiction
So, is there a way where I can find peace while still numbing my pain?

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by jennjenn » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:11 am

Congrats on the 14 month mark!! You’re doing good and i don’t care how often ya update as long as ya update :) so no worries about how often, we totally understand you have a life.

I have a lot of trouble with my sinuses, it’s miserable. I had a sinus infection around a year or so ago and I was sick with it for at least two solid weeks. It made me feel horrible all over and I didn’t even have the energy to walk through the house. It’s just awful. Hope you feel better soon though!!
Jennifer

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by Amy-Work In Progress » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:32 am

Yes, we are so proud of you and hopeful for your future!

It would be great if you decided to post in Stopping Suboxone in order to encourage others who are tapering or quitting. They need to hear positive stories like yours!

Amy
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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by wiichongo_mhngy » Wed Aug 01, 2018 5:37 pm

Quick update: reached 15 months
Thank you all for the support over the past 15 months.

My sinuses have gotten better so I've pretty much been doing great.
Here is my own family tradition; following footsteps into addiction
So, is there a way where I can find peace while still numbing my pain?

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by wiichongo_mhngy » Mon Sep 03, 2018 6:43 pm

Two days ago marked 16 months for me.

My anxiety has lessened but the past few days I’ve been depressed. I am pretty sure it’s from my pre-existing depression, though. Other than that I don’t have much to say in terms of an update. Hope everyone is doing well.
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So, is there a way where I can find peace while still numbing my pain?

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by Amy-Work In Progress » Tue Sep 04, 2018 1:58 am

It's always good to hear from you!

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by jennjenn » Tue Sep 04, 2018 2:15 pm

I’m so glad you keep us updated Wii! I am sorry to hear about your depression giving you a bit of trouble. You really do have so much to be proud of though, what you have accomplished is amazing. As addicts, unfortunately we can’t say that we’ve won because it’s a lifelong battle, but we can say that we’re proud of the life we’re living right now in the present and I think you’re doing a pretty dang good job!
Jennifer

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by wiichongo_mhngy » Sun Nov 04, 2018 8:55 am

Hello everyone!

Meant to post this milestone in the exact day but I’ve been swarmed.

3 days ago marked 18 months, exactly a year and a half that I have been clean from subs/opiates. I gotta say, I feel absolutely amazing. I literally have nothing negative to report. I hope everyone is doing well. I will try to update at 19 months!

Cannot thank you all enough for the support you’ve given me over the past year and a half. ❤️
Here is my own family tradition; following footsteps into addiction
So, is there a way where I can find peace while still numbing my pain?

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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by Amy-Work In Progress » Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:49 am

We remain super happy for you! We love it when our success stories come and update us on how they are doing! So congratulations and keep dropping by.

Amy
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Re: There is no reason to be afraid! (I quit cold turkey)

Post by jennjenn » Tue Nov 06, 2018 10:12 am

Great to hear WIi!! That’s so inspiring to hear and I hope all those ppl who only have negative things to say can read your journey and see it is possible. Thank you for continuing the updates, it really does mean a lot!
Jennifer

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