Intoverted/Extroverted

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up conversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy

That seems to be a characteristic of extroverts vs introverts, the "charge/recharge" thing. It also has much to do with how information is gathered and processed. Its a really interesting subject matter that I spent a lot of personal time delving into, while trying to gain self knowledge as to my strong and not-so-strong points.

Its interesting how the stereotypes about introverts and extroverts don't always hold true when viewed as a part of the MBTI/ Jungian types. I always test as an ENFP (have taken it maybe a half dozen times over the last 6-7 years, since i first came across an MBTI test on the 'net), with a mildly expressed extroversion score. I do get a lift from being around people, if they are the 'right' kind of people, that is. But oftentimes, people who don't know me well, would think I was an introvert, as I often tend to be content with just being around people, but can go off into my own little world still, and not always be engaged. That does fluctuate with the bipolar thing though, too.

I think when I was a kid, I was an INFP. I'm pretty sure of it actually, as I have a good long term memory that includes most of my childhood. I think I switched to mildly extroverted sometime after puberty. I also switched from playing clarinet to drums around puberty, too, lol.

On the other side of the coin, many confirmed (MBTI-wise) introverts whom I've known, were very gregarious and would have been considered extroverts, if only using the stereotype as a guide.


My (very) recent test scores (in file that's attached):

enfp.png (131.36 KiB) Viewed 3343 times

What's changed, oddly, since last time I took it, is my perceiving score went down (it used to be in moderate range), or, judging went up. Or maybe both

[h0pe]

Alot of our members just quit Suboxone. I'll be honest, i dont think people quit sub, until they're sick of it. If someone who quit in the last month doesnt sound on boat with it, step back and try to see where they just came from. It takes alot of hate and balls to quit drugs. It takes a clear mind to see the big picture.

[Romeo]

h0pe, Amy has stated what you just said many times on the forum. She's still on Suboxone, but she also understands how when people quit Suboxone, there can be a hate that develops and she gets it. On this thread, Amy wanted to talk about introversion without it turning to talk of to Sub or not to Sub.

Amy has been an amazing member of this forum for a long time, she helps those getting on Suboxone, on maintenance and those who decide to quit. She was looking for a little support on this thread and politely asked that the opinions expressed not to be Sub or not Sub, but it happened anyway. I think she deserved better from us, better from me, as well.

As for the, "it takes a clear mind to see the big picture" comment. Amy has been a friend of mine for many years now. I've been off Suboxone the whole while I've known Amy and I'll tell you this, her mind is much more clear than mine a good part of the time, if not all the time.

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

h0pe, Amy has stated what you just said many times on the forum. She's still on Suboxone, but she also understands how when people quit Suboxone, there can be a hate that develops and she gets it. On this thread, Amy wanted to talk about introversion without it turning to talk of to Sub or not to Sub.

Amy has been an amazing member of this forum for a long time, she helps those getting on Suboxone, on maintenance and those who decide to quit. She was looking for a little support on this thread and politely asked that the opinions expressed not to be Sub or not Sub, but it happened anyway. I think she deserved better from us, better from me, as well.

As for the, "it takes a clear mind to see the big picture" comment. Amy has been a friend of mine for many years now. I've been off Suboxone the whole while I've known Amy and I'll tell you this, her mind is much more clear than mine a good part of the time, if not all the time.

Amy seems really nice, too.
A/S/L?

(well, I already know "S", unless she's a boy named Amy, like the Johnny Cash song, but figured I better hit on a chickadee, before somebody thinks I am from Texas and I don't have horns...not that there is anything wrong with that.)

[lizzieshug2013]

h0pe, Amy has stated what you just said many times on the forum. She's still on Suboxone, but she also understands how when people quit Suboxone, there can be a hate that develops and she gets it. On this thread, Amy wanted to talk about introversion without it turning to talk of to Sub or not to Sub.

Amy has been an amazing member of this forum for a long time, she helps those getting on Suboxone, on maintenance and those who decide to quit. She was looking for a little support on this thread and politely asked that the opinions expressed not to be Sub or not Sub, but it happened anyway. I think she deserved better from us, better from me, as well.

As for the, "it takes a clear mind to see the big picture" comment. Amy has been a friend of mine for many years now. I've been off Suboxone the whole while I've known Amy and I'll tell you this, her mind is much more clear than mine a good part of the time, if not all the time.

Romeo, you took the words right out of my mouth. Amy is kind and understanding to everyone, no matter what stage or form of recovery they're in or using and deserved the same in return. She's been kind and welcoming to me from my very first post here, and I've learned alot from her about bupe, recovery, and how to treat other members, her mind is quite clear, and her recovery quite genuine!

[h0pe]

That could have been taken a million different ways i guess?? Wierd. I meant, that people who just came off of suboxone Dont have a Clear Mind. . I just recently have started to see clearly, 6 months out. I'm in No WAY insulting Amy!!! WTF. ?? I kindof feel bad, but i didnt mean it like that!

[Romeo]

OMGosh h0pe, I'm SO sorry!! I mis-read what you said. Dang it.....I'm sorry Bud!!

[lizzieshug2013]

hOpe, I read it the same way,so sorry for the misunderstanding. No hard feelings man?:/

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoqQnR8NOVI

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoqQnR8NOVI

[...]

-segue-

[...]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ9Wj8GyrDU

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up conversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy

That seems to be a characteristic of extroverts vs introverts, the "charge/recharge" thing. It also has much to do with how information is gathered and processed. Its a really interesting subject matter that I spent a lot of personal time delving into, while trying to gain self knowledge as to my strong and not-so-strong points.

Its interesting how the stereotypes about introverts and extroverts don't always hold true when viewed as a part of the MBTI/ Jungian types. I always test as an ENFP (have taken it maybe a half dozen times over the last 6-7 years, since i first came across an MBTI test on the 'net), with a mildly expressed extroversion score. I do get a lift from being around people, if they are the 'right' kind of people, that is. But oftentimes, people who don't know me well, would think I was an introvert, as I often tend to be content with just being around people, but can go off into my own little world still, and not always be engaged. That does fluctuate with the bipolar thing though, too.

I think when I was a kid, I was an INFP. I'm pretty sure of it actually, as I have a good long term memory that includes most of my childhood. I think I switched to mildly extroverted sometime after puberty. I also switched from playing clarinet to drums around puberty, too, lol.

On the other side of the coin, many confirmed (MBTI-wise) introverts whom I've known, were very gregarious and would have been considered extroverts, if only using the stereotype as a guide.


My (very) recent test scores (in file that's attached):

enfp.png

What's changed, oddly, since last time I took it, is my perceiving score went down (it used to be in moderate range), or, judging went up. Or maybe both

FAQ:

What are all these letters?

Carl Jung developed psychological types based on the four functions (Feeling, Thinking, iNtuition and Sensing) and the two attitudes (Extraversion and Introversion). These terms are easily confused with common English words. They don't necessarily mean what we expect them to mean:

E -- Extraverted: turned toward the outer world, of people and things. An extravert, or extraverted type, is one whose dominant function is focused in an external direction. Extraverts are inclined to express themselves, using their primary function, directly.

I -- Introverted: turned toward the inner world of symbols, ideals and forms. An introvert, or introverted type, is one whose dominant function is inwardly focused. Introverts are inclined to express themselves, using their primary function, indirectly, through inference and nuance.



more @ http://www.typelogic.com/faq.html

One can take a test at the following ling, to determine MBTI/Jungian type. It's free (many sites charge for similar tests), and provides accurate results:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

After getting test results^, this site (same site from which the "FAQ" info above in the quote block, came from), can provide some insightful overviews of the various MBTI/Jungian Typology profiles (along with various, related links to more info, groups, etc.): http://www.typelogic.com/index.html

[Amy-Work In Progress]

Hello everybody!

Thank you for the responses I've gotten in the last few days!

Hope, I'm sorry that your post was misinterpreted. Romes and Lizzie weren't the only ones who didn't totally get what you were saying. I have to admit that I read it wrong too. I really appreciate the clarification from you.

Romes and Lizzie, thank you for having such generous things to say about me! It feels so good that I have friends on the forum who really know me and have faith in me. I appreciate that more than I can say.

No Boop, those are some great links! For those people who are interested in how they fall on the personality test, it's very easy to do online. The explanations for each category are well explained. I scored as an ENFJ in my early 20s. In fact, I'm so far on the judging side that an extreme perceiver usually annoys the crap out of me! Lol! For example, when I sit down at a restaurant and look at a menu, I'm among the first to know what I want to order. Then I have to sit around for 10 minutes while the perceivers decide what to eat!

Amy

P.S. Female, 43, Denver area. That's what you asked, right?

P.P.S. I looked up the ENFJ personality type and it still rings very truly to me. It was interesting that the article mentioned that ENFJs need to spend alone time even though they're extroverts! http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

No Boop, those are some great links! For those people who are interested in how they fall on the personality test, it's very easy to do online. The explanations for each category are well explained. I scored as an ENFJ in my early 20s. In fact, I'm so far on the judging side that an extreme perceiver usually annoys the crap out of me! Lol! For example, when I sit down at a restaurant and look at a menu, I'm among the first to know what I want to order. Then I have to sit around for 10 minutes while the perceivers decide what to eat!

I'm not too bad about that, when eating out; usually I know what I'll probably order before arriving, unless its an unfamiliar place, then I can be a little indecisive.

P.S. Female, 43, Denver area. That's what you asked, right?

That sounds about right! I went on a motorcycle tour years ago, from Michigan out West, and we took the northern route, then, down through the Dakotas, through Wisconsin, and to Colorado on the western side, then took our time touring though and camping in the mountains, until we emerged on the other side of Pike's Peak. I LOVED it there, Colorado has some of the most beautiful scenery imaginable. And the air smells so good, just about everywhere.

It can be a small wold sometimes, but, Denver is kinda far tho.
Plus, you're probably married, as, with rare occasion, most of the good ones are spoken for, long before they reach 40, it seems.

P.P.S. I looked up the ENFJ personality type and it still rings very truly to me. It was interesting that the article mentioned that ENFJs need to spend alone time even though they're extroverts! http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html

Yup, another example of what I was saying about the stereotypes not always holding true, but in reverse in your case, as I'm guessing that not many people you know, even realize that technically speaking (according to this branch of psychology, anyway), you're an E(xtravert)NFJ.

I've looked myself up on personalitypage dot com. and typelogic dot com ( as well as other sites), and yup, much of it holds true with me, on both sites:

ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.

http://www.typelogic.com/enfp.html

Nah, that's not true tho. I just get bored and play with myself sometimes. No, not that way, you pervs. I meant with my images, in a graphics program:

Screen Shot 2014-08-09 at 12.31.29 AM.png (84.89 KiB) Viewed 3249 times

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFM5JoNXEh8


-------------------

I noticed with the match-making aspect of MBTI, there are differing schools of thought, with the personality page dot com site, being mostly of the school, that those who are somewhat opposites tend to make the best mates. Other schools of thought in this regard, use other criteria. For example friend of mine who I found myself attracted too (on the Internet), turned out to be something very close to my typology. Just one 'letter' off, like you are, actually. And I punched our specific scores (like appear in the image I posted of my results, a few posts back) into this soulmate page: http://www.humanmetrics.com/infomate/InfoMatePass.asp

It said we were at least compatible, but not by how much, just over 62%, which is their minimum. So, I couldn't resist, and paid the 6 bucks to get the total lowdown on their scoring and its breakdown, and we were into the green zone, which is considered to be the most compatible, and we're not quite opposites.


Well, you're in good company as an ENFJ, going by the roster of leaders on the typelogic dot com site (which might be why you make such a good moderator, here), and other celebs, as well as historically famous people: http://www.typelogic.com/enfj.html

As well as somebody who posts on these forums! (I'm not going to say who he or she is though, as s/he might not want that info public, and I haven't asked)

It funny that both Reagan and Obama are/were ENFJs. Only three Presidents have been, the other being Abraham Lincoln. I thought about it though, and I do see the similarities. I think both Reagan and Obama are/were Presidents with talent at connecting with the people (Reagan was called "The Great Communicator", for one), as well as other traits. I think both had/have our country's best interests at heart, even if ideologically, they differ(ed) vastly.

[Amy-Work In Progress]

I find myself up far too early!! So I thought I would reply quickly for once!

My dad is definitely an ENFP so I'm familiar with the fun of being around one! My dad is definitely an idea person, a dreamer, sometimes a pie in the sky type dreamer. He's often inspirational to be around! He has difficulty with transforming a dream into reality because he's not a detail person. He is a child at heart, playful, whimsical, loving. The frustrating part of being parented by him is that I couldn't always count on him to follow through with promises, at least the grandiose ones. He is attracted to multi-level based companies, although through most of his career he worked as a Methodist/UCC minister and in human services. Now that he is retired he became bored and started another multi-level marketing business. I see huge flaws with that system, mainly that if you're doing well it's usually on the back of people who are not going to be successful themselves. But my dad can't see it. He sees the opportunity part of the business, not the reality that most people end up putting in more money than they get out of it.

By the way, I'm not trying to figure out parallels to your personality by explaining my dad. I'm just sharing some of his traits to see if they sound familiar to you.

Yes, I'm married and have been for a little over 17 years. My husband robbed the cradle. I was 24 when we met and he was 40. We have a son who was born a little bit before our first anniversary. He is 16. I love being his mom!! He is an awesome kid, a nerd through and through! He is going into his sophomore year of high school, hoping that this year he will finally feel challenged. Does he clean his room? No. But I never really have to nag him about his homework or grades. Plus he's not into partying (yet). I think he feels it alcohol and drugs could harm his brain. (Good point!) My husband has two grown children from a previous marriage. They are both in their early 30s with spouses and good jobs. I am a gammy to 4 (almost 5) grandkiddos. That's what I get for marrying an older man! Premature grandmotherhood!

I looked at the descriptions for ENFJ and INFJ to see if I've changed type and I identify most strongly with ENFJ. It made total sense to me that ENFJs need their alone time! No wonder! I am a people focused person. I don't notice the details of my surroundings but I can tell you a lot about a person I was just with. I often make intuitive leaps about people that are accurate and particularly intimate. I figured out that I had this ability when I was about 9 years old. There was a bully in my class and he was picking on my friend because she had patches on her clothes. I was incensed that he was being so mean and insensitive. He was bigger than me and I couldn't beat him up (which is what I wanted to do), so I shouted out, "At least her parents aren't divorced!!!" This was in the late 70s when divorce was somewhat rare and I knew as I said it that it was the one thing that would hurt him the most. I'll never forget the look on his face when he heard what I said. His face was shocked, and then it crumpled into tears and he ran down the hall. I ran after him saying that I was sorry, but the damage was already done. I went home and told my parents and just felt horrible. I found that boy on facebook years later and apologized again for the mean thing I said to him. He didn't remember it, but said that he was a little shit at the time and probably deserved it.

Don't get me wrong, I know intuitive ability isn't a super power or anything. But that incident made me realize that I had the ability to really hurt people if I chose to. I didn't make some kind of vow that I would never use my "power" for evil, (lol), but I did decide that I would be very careful with that kind of information. One of the potential negatives about being an ENFJ is that I have the ability to be manipulative. However, I value honest communication and genuine interaction, so I try to stay away from manipulation.

Well, blah, blah, blah! I do tend to run on sometimes! I am appreciating your willingness to delve into this subject! I find people and their motivations endlessly fascinating!

Amy

[no_boop_shoo_be_doop]

I find myself up far too early!! So I thought I would reply quickly for once!

My dad is definitely an ENFP so I'm familiar with the fun of being around one! My dad is definitely an idea person, a dreamer, sometimes a pie in the sky type dreamer. He's often inspirational to be around! He has difficulty with transforming a dream into reality because he's not a detail person. He is a child at heart, playful, whimsical, loving. The frustrating part of being parented by him is that I couldn't always count on him to follow through with promises, at least the grandiose ones. He is attracted to multi-level based companies, although through most of his career he worked as a Methodist/UCC minister and in human services. Now that he is retired he became bored and started another multi-level marketing business. I see huge flaws with that system, mainly that if you're doing well it's usually on the back of people who are not going to be successful themselves. But my dad can't see it. He sees the opportunity part of the business, not the reality that most people end up putting in more money than they get out of it.

By the way, I'm not trying to figure out parallels to your personality by explaining my dad. I'm just sharing some of his traits to see if they sound familiar to you.

Yes, I'm married and have been for a little over 17 years. My husband robbed the cradle. I was 24 when we met and he was 40. We have a son who was born a little bit before our first anniversary. He is 16. I love being his mom!! He is an awesome kid, a nerd through and through! He is going into his sophomore year of high school, hoping that this year he will finally feel challenged. Does he clean his room? No. But I never really have to nag him about his homework or grades. Plus he's not into partying (yet). I think he feels it alcohol and drugs could harm his brain. (Good point!) My husband has two grown children from a previous marriage. They are both in their early 30s with spouses and good jobs. I am a gammy to 4 (almost 5) grandkiddos. That's what I get for marrying an older man! Premature grandmotherhood!

I looked at the descriptions for ENFJ and INFJ to see if I've changed type and I identify most strongly with ENFJ. It made total sense to me that ENFJs need their alone time! No wonder! I am a people focused person. I don't notice the details of my surroundings but I can tell you a lot about a person I was just with. I often make intuitive leaps about people that are accurate and particularly intimate. I figured out that I had this ability when I was about 9 years old. There was a bully in my class and he was picking on my friend because she had patches on her clothes. I was incensed that he was being so mean and insensitive. He was bigger than me and I couldn't beat him up (which is what I wanted to do), so I shouted out, "At least her parents aren't divorced!!!" This was in the late 70s when divorce was somewhat rare and I knew as I said it that it was the one thing that would hurt him the most. I'll never forget the look on his face when he heard what I said. His face was shocked, and then it crumpled into tears and he ran down the hall. I ran after him saying that I was sorry, but the damage was already done. I went home and told my parents and just felt horrible. I found that boy on facebook years later and apologized again for the mean thing I said to him. He didn't remember it, but said that he was a little shit at the time and probably deserved it.

Don't get me wrong, I know intuitive ability isn't a super power or anything. But that incident made me realize that I had the ability to really hurt people if I chose to. I didn't make some kind of vow that I would never use my "power" for evil, (lol), but I did decide that I would be very careful with that kind of information. One of the potential negatives about being an ENFJ is that I have the ability to be manipulative. However, I value honest communication and genuine interaction, so I try to stay away from manipulation.

Well, blah, blah, blah! I do tend to run on sometimes! I am appreciating your willingness to delve into this subject! I find people and their motivations endlessly fascinating!

Amy

Forgive me for not replying sooner. Yeah, I also love to delve into this subject, especially when in the right frame of mind for it, heh. As it can get pretty heavy at times (to me, anyway).

I can relate to your father's shortcoming. I don't have kids, but I do like helping people when I can (or think I can, anyway), and have often bitten off more than I can chew, and then end up with a few people peeved at me for not being able to follow through, but have for the most part matured thru that and try to think before opening my mouth in that regard, even though I still do slip up on occasion, but not nearly as often as I did when younger. And I'd try really hard, too (to keep to my commitments to helping others with one thing or another--computer probs, maybe lend a hand on some home repairs, list goes on...), often burning myself out in the progress and finding all my personal stuff neglected in the process (forget to pay a bill on time, run out of clean laundry...the dirty laundry list goes on and there has even been serious consequences in some instances).


Oh you wanna know something weird? I mentioned already, the match-making aspect that some psyche types try to use MBTI/Jungian typologies for (and mentioned how there are different schools of thought, about differences vs commonalities). I can see both views really, as opposites can compliment each other rather than conflict. But its also nice to have somebody as a mate who is a lot alike too, for obvious reasons. But the weird thing...

Quote from the matchmaking section on that particular MBTI site, of my type:

though two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFP_rel.html

My mother is an INFJ (confirmed), and I am 99% certain my father was INTJ. I say certain, not just from going thru a characteristic checklist, but because the man was my father, and, I went through a period of near obsession with self-study of this area of psychology, and have really good accuracy that seems almost uncanny (aprrox 80+ %) when it comes to guessing people's types, confirmed by pestering them to humor me, and take the test to see how close my guess was. On one's I was off about, it was usually because they were "mildy expressed" (close to being on the 'baseline') in one of the categories.

But isn't that odd, that the personality page site, (which isn't shy about their "opposites attract approach" for matchmaking, (see, http://www.personalitypage.com/html/relationships.html), suggests that my ideal partners, are of the same type that each of my parents were?

I'm an only child. I have a lot of 'theories' as to why I might be an ENFP, based on my parent's types. (I'm not certain if the Jungian types are something we are hardwired with, to some extent from birth, or if we are somehow formed into our types. Maybe a combo of both. I think the "iNtuitive vs Sensing" category is most likely hardwired, if any of them are. Maybe I'll delve further into this and more sometime (notice I said "maybe" instead of making a promise? ) I need to hit they hay, way past my bedtime and lots to do tomorrow before business hours come to a close, but just wanted to check in.

Oh and btw, I really liked your story about your schoolday's girlfriend, and the guy who picked on her. You really are a super nice person. Not only for sticking up for your friend, but by going through such lengths to apologize to the guy for hitting him back where it hurt him the most. I'm guessing the "J" part of you, combined with the rest, wouldn't let you be, for what you seem to have decided was overkill (disproportionate response in the psychological warfare dep't, in defense of your friend). Your friend was really lucky to have somebody like you as a friend, methinks. I'm sorry the personal aftermath took a toll on you, but its all good now.

[All_apologies13]

I think it's really interesting that some of you, including Amy, recognize a switch from one to the other at some point in life. I was thinking about this recently.
I was definitely extroverted as a kid and through a lot of my life. Now, even though I can thoroughly enjoy conversations with others and getting to know others here and there, it's not like it used to be and most days I feel nervous being around new people. You know how people say "I used to be a people person, but then people ruined that for me?" It sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy and maybe it is, but it feels pretty accurate. This year has been hard and I guess I've found people overall to be really disappointing, or threatening. Whatever the case I've definitely become more of an introvert. My close friends live far off from where I do, and I only trust them because I met them at a time that I was more trusting and somehow these few people proved themselves inherently loyal over the course of the years that I've known them. I'm not really interested in getting to know or bringing into my life anyone my age anymore, due to the frankly very high chance that they don't care as much about things I value. But unlike a few others, suboxone didn't seem to play any role in this. When I first got on suboxone I spent a year volunteering and meeting and working with new people everyday and I loved it. At a certain point I started reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances and had a social life.
I think the thing that's been there longer than any distaste or distrust for others, is the way I've needed to recharge. I've always valued alone, free time where I can just enjoy my own company and not exert the energy it requires to interact with others and be energized, happy and social for them. Mornings have become especially important for me, particularly when I was working I would need to wake up early to have that time to myself to reduce the anxiety I might feel later when it was time to get up and going. So spending comfort time alone to relax has definitely been my way of recharging.

[h0pe]

Well said 13; and TY .

[Amy-Work In Progress]

I think it's really interesting that some of you, including Amy, recognize a switch from one to the other at some point in life. I was thinking about this recently.
I was definitely extroverted as a kid and through a lot of my life. Now, even though I can thoroughly enjoy conversations with others and getting to know others here and there, it's not like it used to be and most days I feel nervous being around new people. You know how people say "I used to be a people person, but then people ruined that for me?" It sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy and maybe it is, but it feels pretty accurate. This year has been hard and I guess I've found people overall to be really disappointing, or threatening. Whatever the case I've definitely become more of an introvert. My close friends live far off from where I do, and I only trust them because I met them at a time that I was more trusting and somehow these few people proved themselves inherently loyal over the course of the years that I've known them. I'm not really interested in getting to know or bringing into my life anyone my age anymore, due to the frankly very high chance that they don't care as much about things I value. But unlike a few others, suboxone didn't seem to play any role in this. When I first got on suboxone I spent a year volunteering and meeting and working with new people everyday and I loved it. At a certain point I started reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances and had a social life.
I think the thing that's been there longer than any distaste or distrust for others, is the way I've needed to recharge. I've always valued alone, free time where I can just enjoy my own company and not exert the energy it requires to interact with others and be energized, happy and social for them. Mornings have become especially important for me, particularly when I was working I would need to wake up early to have that time to myself to reduce the anxiety I might feel later when it was time to get up and going. So spending comfort time alone to relax has definitely been my way of recharging.

I identify so much with what you say here! And since I've been on suboxone I've improved in my ability to spend more time with people and less time home alone. I've recently learned that I can be out all day as long as I have the knowledge that I will be able to recharge in the evenings. As long as I know there is "me" time coming up I can present myself to the world as an extrovert. I've got the skills! I can put people at ease with small talk and I can float like a social butterfly when I need to.

I grew up in a very rural area and in a small, 4 person household. We lived in the middle of the woods and the winters were long and somewhat isolating. I always looked forward to the times when I would see my friends, but I spent many hours alone too. I think it's possible that I didn't realize how important my alone time was because I had so much of it. So maybe I haven't changed so much since I was growing up.

Just a thought!

Amy

[trainer14]

Just chiming in. I am a huge introvert and would rather spend time at the house, in my bedroom or alone way more than going out and being social. I have always been that way. Honestly I hate social settings and admit I am socially awkward. Meeting new people in a large group is overwhelming to me sometimes and I barely say a peep. You would never guess that about me if you saw me instructing a training clasd at work but outside of work I avoid socializing. Just last night my neighbors had a bon fire and bbq and invited my husband and myself and I was like "nope nope nope". I LIKE being alone. I LIKE that I have no friends. Sounds sorry, but its true. I have always always always perferred to be alone. My conversational skills have always sucked and I even avoid talking on the phone and thats ok with me. I kid with my husband and say I don't want the responsibility of friends. Its to draining. When we have a gathering of family members at the house,like we did for my stepsons graduation, I hate it and cant wait to sneak away to my room to chill. I really dislike small talk and usually just sit there, laughing at the appropriate times, smiling when its called for, etc. I get this about myself and its quite all right with me!!! Lmao

[razor55]

Hahah, I liked that Trainer..
I get it.
Friends can be hard and I did have many many, but that went all away when I became an opiate addict. Oh and ruined my rep in my town. Funny thing is I like being home now too.
I jumped into NA but lately that has become work too. The people thats. Nice people, helpful at times, well until I told the powers that be of my low dose sub..
I think im just getting older now and all that paling around has subsided at 56.idk..
Funny thing is I talk and see 15 to 20 people a day one on one at my shop. So, I like my home, dogs, garden a d books..plus my best friend/xwife whom I live with.
Ex or Into?...just not sure these days....

Razor