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Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:11 am
by hagerj1
Pelican, and the rest, thank you so much for your kind comments. I took my last dose two days ago. I'm sick, but not much sicker than when I tapered rapidly. I've been sick for almost two weeks, and now this should end soon. I'm on antidepressants and have hydroxyzine for the anxiety. It's the restless legs that I'm not sure what to do about. It's hell having that at night (it happens to my arms and hands too). For the last two nights, I've barely slept because of RLS with heart racing.

I appreciate that you were concerned about me to ask about my plan. My plan to stay sober is to continue to stay connected to my sober friends, community, and meetings. I'm very established in the recovery community because of my AA meeting and alcohol sobriety.

Does anyone know where I can donate my extra Suboxone? I have a bunch left, and I get the feeling my doctor won't take it (I've asked)? I have about 30+ 12mg films left. I do want to get it out of the house. I don't want to even have the ability to go snip a piece off to relieve the pain I'm feeling right now...not going through this again!

Turning 50 and dealing with the weight gain from the subs was the ultimate turning point and deal breaker. I wish I could have made it's a miracle drug. But the leg swelling, water retention and (major) constipation were not sustainable. Plus...I absolutely am not going to get fat NOW at 50, when I'm struggling (career wise, socially) to stay relevant. You'll understand this when you get to be this age. I never thought this day would come (I was such lush and a druggie in my early 20s, I thought I'd be dead by now). I'm gay too, so I thought HIV would have gotten me a long time ago.

But here I am...I'm blessed to have lived to this age. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to have lived a while longer and have wisdom and experience. But I must focus on my physical health and it includes a healthy weight because our family has a history of cancer and heart disease. Plus I'm single and 50, and nobody is going to want a fat middle-aged guy. I will never lose weight on Suboxone...ever. I tried everything. In fact, I was considering abusing laxatives because I took so many to stay regular anyway. I was a day or two away from an eating disorder. I had to do this.


Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Thu Nov 28, 2019 5:22 am
by Ryan Ryan Ryan
My own mother always looks at me with shame in her eyes. Today she told me how I should be going shop to shop looking for a job, because that is what she would do.
I showed her all the jobs I've been applying for on SEEK and how I've been giving lots of builders my resume. Residential painting is almost dead at the moment. I don't have any commercial painting experience so I'm screwed.
A really good position I wanted had 172 applicants!!!

I can't believe my own mum would be accusing me of being welfare bludger. I'm working on average about 2 days a week and that is because I spent a couple of hundred on advertising......

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2019 5:04 pm
by suboxdoc
Ryan, are you across the pond? I wonder because of your use of the word 'mum', and also because of your job situation because the job market is pretty active in the US for the past couple years.

Where do you hail from?

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2019 5:12 pm
by Ryan Ryan Ryan
Perth, Australia. The economy in the housing industry at the moment is very bad.

I made up with my mum and she apologized when I showed her we do everything online these days. She's just very old fashioned and doesn't understand how we all primarily communicate these days. People get annoyed if you directly approach these days asking for work.
She means well.

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Fri Nov 29, 2019 11:26 pm
by TeeJay
Ryan you might have better luck on the east coast. While our job market isn't as great as it was in recent years, it's still not difficult to get a job. Especially in Melbourne cos we are growing so much.

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2019 12:29 am
by Ryan Ryan Ryan
Hi Teejay.
I may consider that though most of my family are here and with my brother's recent passing, I may have to delay that option for a bit.
Also my dad is struggling with house work. My other brother has a serious mental illness so isn't much help. Just in the last 2 days, I've been cutting down lots of tree branches that are either hanging over the neighbours' fences or very close to it. I can't imagine him doing it at his age of 72 as it certainly was hard labor even for me and I'm a big lad with lots of power in my arms and shoulders.

I read that they are predicting construction to recover very soon so I may see how it goes for now.

One other thing, I thought it was dosing every other day making me feel tired but its actually lyrica withdrawal. I felt tired still when I switched back to dosing every day after about 8 hours taking the sub. The suboxone gives me a boost as it counters the lyrica withdrawal. If I dose every other day, the double amount of sub actually makes me feel great for a whole day. So, its actually better than every-day dosing. I take my subs now in my cheeks. I just have to be careful that it doesn't drop down into my teeth. Does it still work well if it dissolves in your teeth?

Sorry for the long post and thanks for your help!

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:13 am
by jennjenn
Well imo I think 2 days a week is a heck of a lot better than nothing! There are so many ppl not working at all. You are at least bringing in some income at 2 days a week. Maybe broadening your area will help, maybe picking up a little something else on the side to supplement, but 2 days a week is at least something. I'm happy your mom (mum) is now more understanding but don't let things like that get ya down too much, you have been through a lot and doing the best you can right now. You are on the right track! Goodluck!

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2019 1:31 pm
by incessant_chatter
Medication assisted recovery and abstinence based recovery have their own jargon... "clean" is really only a term that has a place in the abstinence based recovery lexicon and people in a MAT program really shouldn't let it bother them. In MAT we use a term like "stable" to describe a similar state

Re: Does being on sub make you "not clean"?

Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2020 4:55 pm
by cdelic
Clean is a very subjective term. I am a suboxone doc in ny practicing for 14 years. Is a medication that allows you to get your life back, have a family, have a career something bad? Is being abstinent and miserable and functioning poorly better do you think?
Obviously people would rather be abstinent and happy. But I’ve practice general medicine for 38 years and I haven’t met anybody who wants to take any medication; bp meds, dm meds, heart meds etc. The latest thinking straight from the american journal of psychiatry is higher doses of bupe over longer periods of time results in better outcomes. They claim addiction is a brain disease and relapses are likely even after 10 years of abstinence. I liken bupe to insulin. If you need your insulin you take it. The only difference is the shame and stigma attached to opiate addiction treatment. Everybody would rather not take meds if they didn’t have to.