30 days off after 7 years on

If you tapered off Suboxone or stopped cold-turkey, how are you now? How did buprenorphine compare to other addiction treatments for you?
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spylight
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30 days off after 7 years on

Post by spylight » Tue Jun 26, 2018 3:49 pm

So the first week of my 30 days seems so long ago. But here I am at the other side. The only remaining symptom is sometimes having a hard time falling asleep, but its leagues easier than it was the first couple weeks. Some nights I fall asleep easily now, others are a little tougher, but at least I'm not kicking anymore! Definitely the toughest part was the depression. So I went to some 12 step meetings every week, and that helped just in terms of talking with other addicts. I've been going out on the weekends with friends, meeting new people, and beginning to enjoy life again. Working out 4 times a week, setting up job interviews and keeping up with hobbies.

On an important side note, I tried kratom for the first time I think around day 6 or 7. Its not worth it. I may as well have gone to the pharmacy to pick up a refill on my suboxone. Yes I was able to fall asleep very easily, and got a opiate type buzz, but just when I thought the physical symptoms of bupe withdrawal were past their peak, the kratom seemed to just restart them. So to anyone thinking about it, I would warn against it.

So yeah, I'm learning how to just live again.. live without the assistance of medication, and its fun. Mainly with getting back into dating. I hadn't really dated the past couple years, so I'm jumping into that, making a fool of myself, but not taking it to seriously, just learning to have fun again.

EDIT: Also another thing, the PAWS. Thats something I was really worried about, and almost expected it to happen.. especially since I was on suboxone for around 7 years. But you know what, it hasn't even entered my mind that.. I'm feeling 'bad' because of PAWS. If anything.. 1 month in, the benefits HIGHLY outweigh any of the negatives that PAWS might be having on me currently, if at all.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by jennjenn » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:38 am

I’m so glad you decided against kratom! I’m also extremely grateful that you shared your experience with it. The more we can talk about it, hopefully the more ppl will see kratom isn’t a good choice at all. Thank you spylight.

I’ve suffered from PAWS and it isn’t pleasant. If you’re able to still get out and socialize and go to meetings then you’re doing good! If it’s not PAWS then great! Good luck!!
Jennifer

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by spylight » Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:09 pm

Yeah, I mean from my perspective, using kratom when jumping off bupe is really just switching out for a drug that pretty much operates in a very similar way. So it will 'ease' your withdrawal from the bupe, but as soon as you stop the kratom, the withdrawal will return, like it did for me, even though I only did it for 2 days. Plus, the kratom definitely gave me hangovers the next day and I just felt like I was in kind of a haze.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by burf2500 » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:57 pm

What dose did you jump off of? I made it 3 weeks after coming off 2mg but was taking kratom also and when I tried reducing my dose the withdrawals came back with a vengeance. The Suboxone symptoms seemed like they were mellowing out and everything was getting better, but then one night I got railed and has restless legs so bad they were almost flailing around. I was also taking low dose hydrocodone so maybe that along with the kratom was a bad mix. That's great you've made it to the 30 day mark! The worst should be over but the fight is definitely not over. Sleeping crappy and depression are usually the things that linger around for me. Sounds like you're already going through that so maybe you'll be done with it all pretty soon. When did you notice the physical symptoms start to subside? For me after 2 weeks things seemed to be getting better, but it's hard to know what was really going on with the kratom and hydrocodone.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Justin999 » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:19 pm

Great job keep going! The first few weeks are definitely the worst but keep going to the gym and get a job that you like and develop other habits that will propel you for years to come. Your lifestyle and brain has just made a dramatic reset and now is the time to further the progress you made while you were on subs even more so.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by 49stars » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:13 pm

Spylight,

How are you doing now?
I think of PAWS as our nervous system resetting, some people have a harder time gpoing through this process.

I love hearing about how well you are doing.

I heard this awesome analogy that I tranferred over to kratom: taking kratom during withdrawal is like picking a scab. It might eventually heal, but it will take longer and not heal as well.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Jayden » Sat Nov 03, 2018 7:37 pm

49 stars,

I love that analogy its perfect. I feel like kratom is a band aid when we really need a stitch to close the wound for it to heal properly. The band aid just covers it up and keep letting the wound reopen:)

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Amy-Work In Progress » Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:14 pm

Damn, Jayden! I didn't know you are a poet!

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by 49stars » Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:05 pm

Jayden wrote:49 stars,

I love that analogy its perfect. I feel like kratom is a band aid when we really need a stitch to close the wound for it to heal properly. The band aid just covers it up and keep letting the wound reopen:)
Love it!

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Amy-Work In Progress » Sat Nov 10, 2018 11:38 am

Wow! The last time Spylight signed into the forum was August 14th.

Let's hope that he or she is doing ok. I have to admit that I worry when someone just drops from our forum like this.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by spylight » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:26 am

Wow Amy, thanks for your concern. I decided on a whim to check back on here, surprised to see my post at the top of this section!

Anyways, I currently have 72 days off ALL drugs, and I think nearly 5 months off of suboxone. It was 72 days ago that I finished having a bit of a relapse on cocaine of all things. Was in the bar scene and just mixed with the wrong people. Thankfully I was doing NA and therapy at the time so I was able to nip that habit in the bud and get honest with my support group. NA has been a huge help for me. Mainly in terms of getting a support group of fellow addicts I can talk to and relate to. Much like this board is a support group for many people. I've met many people through NA who struggle with getting off suboxone, and its very prevalent, especially with younger people in NA, and I've felt like I've been able to reach out and help people that are going through what I've gone through with it and share my experience.

Needless to say, withdrawal of any kind of PAWS is completely gone. I'm feeling my 'feelings' much more strongly than I've had in a long time. Went through a difficult time last week where a close friend I met in NA relapsed and is still out, and it sucks seeing someone you care about deep in their addiction. Just makes me realize the effect I had on my family during my hard drug using. The good things in my life are that I have made SO many new friends, got a contract for a new job I enjoy doing, playing music, and moving into my own place this weekend! Also dating has been going really well. Not looking to settle down and just continue to enjoy life a bit while I'm still relatively young! LOL

If anyone has any questions let me know!

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by spylight » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:36 am

Ahh yes, there is also somewhat of a stigma about replacement therapy in NA.. go figure. Although I agree that you are not completely clean if you are on suboxone, then again, coffee is a drug and nicotine is a drug, but they don't seem to discriminate against those substances. I've had many heated debates with 'old timers' in NA about this. I think the positives DEFINITELY outweigh the negatives of just trying to kick opiate addiction cold turkey. People who quit cold turkey tend to flounder and relapse more often, and their upward trajectory in life tends to be more flat. Whereas people who go on replacement therapy tend to have more of an upward trajectory. Just my personal experience.

Dont let this scare you from NA though, because many people have reservations about it due to this which is understandable. Everyone's recovery is different. I do a combination of NA, Refuge (meditation/buddhism recovery) and SMART recovery.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Amy-Work In Progress » Thu Nov 22, 2018 11:31 am

I am glad to hear that you are doing so well, Spylight!

It's good for you to know that, even if you are not checking in as much anymore, your posts still live on and are capable of really helping others!

You have done a great job of finding what helps you in recovery. Do you think it's possible that if you had done this much recovery work while you were still on suboxone, transitioning off may have been easier? I am now interning at a Methadone/Suboxone clinic. I have found that many of the younger people who are doing MAT don't yet have the emotional maturity to truly work on recovery. They need time to grow up and deal with the various traumas they have seen in their lives.

Methadone and buprenorphine are around for very good reason! They keep opioid addicts safe until they are ready to deal with the inevitable emotions and stress of life without it. I also believe that opioid addiction has done so much neurological damage to the brains of some addicts, that methadone and buprenorphine need to be accessible to them for life. There is such a continuum of people who are addicted, we can never take tools off the table for them. And trying to determine who is clean when, and on what, is not important, but can, in fact, be detrimental to many. If the behaviors of addiction are under control, why does it matter that anyone has a medication in their system?

It's been great having this conversation with you all!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Amy
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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Gettingoffsubs123 » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:58 pm

Ok, so I was on over 12 mgs of subs for over 9 years and no way do I even feel ok to drive much less go to work. I am at 30 days. I’m still sick every morning. Was told not to take Imodium and if any of you have suggestions I’m open but, no way shape or form would I be able to go out to clubs etc or whatever I’m SICK! I am 42 and was on hydrocodone 10 mgs in 2006-2009 and got on subs on day 4 of detox at home. Both are being done cold turkey 100%. The issues I’m having are upset stomach and my head is killing me and I am shaky. I feel like I’m super nervous and I’ve lost over 20 lbs. I don’t want subs. I should have tapered but I’m not good at it. I’m a drug addict lol.. I am also open minded to suggestions. Meaning over the counter meds that help. I am having problems sleeping too. Also anyone else feel like something is holding their feet? Is that why I need RLS meds? I am reading I am over the worst but I guess My receptors are repairing... I tried this years ago and at a month I had to quit. Got back on subs took a HIGHER dosage now I’m in it for the duration. If I should have tapered I didn’t and I don’t want to go get any subs (I left a empty dr appointment and a full script in the pharmacy when I did this). Pulling them out is NOT an option.. I’m over the WORST.. but any help from TRUE cold turkey detox ppl is wanted..

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by Lillyval » Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:48 am

I went cold turkey off of 16mg in 2013 and it was pretty awful. I didn’t really start feeling better until 60 days. There’s not much over the counter that’s going to help, except ibuprofen and Imodium (I don’t know why you were told not to take it, just don’t abuse it). Good nutrition and exercise are great, but it sounds like you can’t eat or get out much.

In all honesty clonidine is your best bet. It is prescription, but it is not a controlled substance and has no abuse potential. Unless you have low blood pressure I don’t think a doctor would refuse to prescribe it.

If I had it to do over again I would try to get a short course of klonopin. Some people also swear by gabapentin.

I went back on Suboxone last year, and I’m on 3mg/day and very stable. You didn’t say why you decided to go off. But I know for some people having side effects, going down to a very low dose (1-3mg) is more doable than going off/staying off completely. Just a thought.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by SisterMorphine » Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:08 pm

spylight wrote:having a bit of a relapse on cocaine of all things.
wow, cocaine spylight! people are still doing cocaine?!
personally i consider myself sober. i have on occasion done xanax or meth (even though at one point i did also have a problem with) but i haven't been addicted to anything for years.
so, i guess by NA standards, thats not sober. but i'm also not an addict, is how i look at it.
i'm not condoning doing drugs when at the bar of course.
Get your shit together and live your life." Black Snake Moan

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by TeeJay » Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:59 pm

spylight wrote:Anyways, I currently have 72 days off ALL drugs, and I think nearly 5 months off of suboxone. It was 72 days ago that I finished having a bit of a relapse on cocaine of all things. Was in the bar scene and just mixed with the wrong people. Thankfully I was doing NA and therapy at the time so I was able to nip that habit in the bud and get honest with my support group. NA has been a huge help for me. Mainly in terms of getting a support group of fellow addicts I can talk to and relate to. Much like this board is a support group for many people. I've met many people through NA who struggle with getting off suboxone, and its very prevalent, especially with younger people in NA, and I've felt like I've been able to reach out and help people that are going through what I've gone through with it and share my experience.
I've had a similar experience with NA. It's extremely beneficial to have that support network in early recovery. Early on it can be really difficult to relate to people without any histories of addiction, and as such I struggled with a sense of isolation when I was at work, or hanging out with non-addict friends. However when I went to a meeting I felt like I could drop all my fronts and just be honest, which was refreshing.

However the same effect can be counterproductive. Once a person gets a few years up, it still amazes me how so many end up hanging out exclusively with other addicts in the fellowship, talking about addiction and recovery still. It bemuses me why they don't get out of their comfort zone and move on in life. Surely they've had enough experience in life post-addiction to be able to relate and befriend more "normal" people. I'm not saying they should disconnect from NA entirely. But why make your life 100% all about recovery after all those years?

Don't get me started on the 10+ year self labelled "recovering addicts" who still do 5+ meetings a week.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by nannerpuss » Fri Apr 24, 2020 7:07 am

I'm 30 days off after 14 years. But I did a multi-year taper and for the last couple years I was taking maybe .25mg a day at most. Normally I took 1/2 of that, so I guess .12mg a day for at least a year now. I was afraid to let it go because that's how much I just don't want opiates in my life anymore. But I finally was able to come to terms with getting the last opiate out. I'm a lot older and had a long time on Suboxone, and thus have been very much a downer for a long time now. It feels really good to give a shit again.

I've got some bad insomnia (timestamps here should back me up), but no withdrawal. The extremely microscopic taper off I did has paid off in the withdrawal aspect. I didn't even feel bad after a couple nights off. Hope the insomnia goes away in the next 30 days, but I'm OK with relearning how to sleep if it means I can life like a guy who gives a shit again.

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Re: 30 days off after 7 years on

Post by rule62 » Fri Apr 24, 2020 11:18 am

Excellent news. A lot of others did the same as you and sleep did come back in time.
Don't take yourself so damn seriously

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