Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

How to stop Suboxone? How long should I be on buprenorphine? Is Suboxone withdrawal bad? How do I detox?
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Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by Headseed » Fri Jul 09, 2021 2:31 pm

Long time lurker here with about 10 years on 24 mg of Suboxone. I won't bore everyone with 7 pages of backstory. Assume my addiction issues (or the negative behaviors at least) were minor and that I'm in a controlled environment where nothing I do is a secret and I'm accountable to others. I've wanted to get off of these for a while but always find an excuse of life is too busy, I feel too bad, I've got a splinter in my finger... you get the idea. I'm starting to get older (40 something) and I realize this probably won't get easier if I keep putting it off.

Sooooooo..... I decided to just quit and see how it effects me. A trial run if you will. I've never had any time off it since I got on other than a couple of dental issues and a minor surgery. Other than the few stories of success and many of horror from going cold turkey I have no idea what to expect. And none that I've seen on these forums did it from that high of a dose. I don't have my own personal experience with WD's like I did with opiates where I knew exactly how many days I'd be in hell and what level I'd spend it on.

Anyway, I'm more than midway through day 7 since my last Sub at this point. I have to ask "Is this it?" I keep waiting for the hammer to drop. I know the half life is long but I thought by now I'd be pretty miserable. So far I've generally only had two consistent symptoms. The ubiquitous hot and cold at the same time and I'm exhausted. Sleep isn't happening for the most part without chemical influence. There's been just a touch of restlessness and body aches but nothing that would have stopped me from being "normal". If I'm in the thick of this then I feel like I'll push on through this even if it lasts a month. If that hammer is going to fall on my head at some point and it's going to get much worse then I'd like to either be prepared or have options in place. My trial might end at that point. I'd like to get through this though and a week seems like a solid stretch of time behind me to just throw it away unless things are going to get miserable in a hurry.

Open to anything anyone might have to say. Thanks!

EDIT: Please keep in mind I am not a doctor and anything I say should probably be dismissed as the ramblings of a madman on the internet. YMMV with anything and everything I put down here. If you aren't sure about something go see a dr that can help you......The short version is "this most definitely wasn't it". As the bridge burners might say I went in "wide eyed stupid". I decided pretty early on to include this edit as a result. I write in a bit of a rambling stream of consciousness manner most of the time and virtually nobody will want to read every rambling post from my 2-3+ weeks in the saddle of the beast. So here's the lowdown. My initial hope that this was a cake walk when I was on day 7-8 was folly. If you aren't in a VERY good place in almost every regard and have systems in place to get through this then your chances of making it through the 2-3 weeks of acute symptoms probably isn't good. There's a reason they want you to taper. I don't like raining on parades but this wasn't/isn't easy. However, it hasn't been as hard as kicking full agonist opiates Cold Turkey IMO. Comparatively I'd call it 60-70% of the suck. Which is plenty of suck for anyone. It was just a different experience for me mentally without the fixation regardless of the physical issues. My largest hurdles were/are exhaustion, chills/hot flashes, and restless nights. I avoided the dreaded creepy crawlies almost completely though. As such I intend to sacrifice my first born to the gods of withdrawal. Symbolically of course.

My timeline was/is:

Week 1- virtually no side effects. I was day 6 before I really started noticing it messing with sleep etc. I had just been tired for a couple of days. Yawning etc.

Week 2-Days 8,9,10. Just really uncomfortable. Moments here and there without symptoms. Day 11 MUCH better...until it wasn't. 12-15 Looking back were probably my toughest. These were the days/nights I really considered doing something to feel better. The duration reaaallly started to wear on me. There might have been one night mixed in there somewhere that wasn't just endless but assume week 2 the nights are going to suck. Not clawing in the depths of hell kind of suck but you aren't going to sleep and you're just longing for a few mins to being still and a comfortable temperature. I wasn't in the depths of any terrible symptoms I just could not shake ANY of the one's I had unless I was in the shower. I don't have to describe them in detail to 99% of you and the other 1% have google or can slog through my journey below.

Week 3- Somewhere around day 17 I feel like I turned the corner. I'm updating this at day 21 and it's been mostly just dealing with the same minor symptoms to varying degrees. Mostly just tired and chills that have been rather persistent. I'm not Genghis Khan ready to conquer the world but I'm not down and out and most importantly I'M NOT TAKING SUBOXONE!!!! Like I tell another poster later down this thread. If I can do this then someone with some actual backbone can as well. I think it all depends on where you are in life and what your "why?" is. What is your "why?" and how important is it to you? Probably wouldn't hurt if you took the time beforehand to deal with whatever issues or trauma that drove you to mask feeling as well. But that's a longer conversation etc. I hope this thread is at least marginally helpful to someone in the future. If nothing else maybe you can laugh at me a time or two if you read through. The search function here pulled up links that didn't lead to populated threads for "Cold Turkey" so in large part that's why I documented my experience. I found sharing to be helpful for me as well so I would encourage you to share your experience. Someone else might be out there looking for exactly what you are going through. Take care everyone! And thank you again to those who replied! Cya around!
Last edited by Headseed on Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:08 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by Headseed » Sat Jul 10, 2021 3:19 pm

I think I'll keep updating here even if nobody ever replies so that the next person who is searching for info will have my experience of going cold turkey. I'll detail my history once this is over if I feel like it might be relevant. So back to it.

Again, a little more than half way through day 8 now. The end of day 7 I was feeling anxious and edgy. More body pains and more consistent inability to regulate temperature. Still that was NOT a terrible day in the world of withdrawls. While I stayed inactive I could have been serviceable if I had to get off my ass. My night was worse in some ways than the previous nights and better in others. I got restless on top of the hot and cold flashes. But the hot spells came less frequently. I took 300mg of gabapentin and that restlessness mostly went away. I still couldn't sleep but at least I wasn't miserable. Right now I feel as good or better than I did a lot of days on suboxone (other than the deep fatigue) so I'm hopeful that I'm on the back side of the acute stuff and headed for "normal". I've been through PAWS in the past and know that might last weeks/months/years. Meaning the fight isn't anywhere near over but I've hopefully taken the worst punches. Anyway, from my experience 8+ days in Cold Turkey I'd take going through this for 6 months vs my previous experiences with oxy/fentanyl withdrawl. While I see how tapering could help some people at this point I'm glad I just jumped. I've been uncomfortable and tired but none of the deep pits of hell kind of misery I always had with other opiates.

Because of all the horror stories I'm still looking over my shoulder waiting for the hammer to drop. I don't know what I don't know as they might say. Wide eyed stupid. Maybe I'm just lucky (for once in my life) but I'm hopeful this is as bad as it gets as I seem to be getting over the hump.

I'll try to update this daily for a few more days. Especially if I have changes one way or the other.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by rule62 » Sun Jul 11, 2021 12:05 pm

Thanks for the updates and we hope you don't suffer too much discomfort. Stopping at 24mgs is something we don't recommend. If you read through the posts in this section you'll see a taper method works best. Nice and slow. But then, if you can get through this next few weeks you should be good.

Keep us updated.
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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by Headseed » Sun Jul 11, 2021 2:21 pm

Yeah I knew from the things I read here it wasn't what was typical. I just couldn't see taking months and months to get through it. My guess was that most people were just misremembering how bad kicking opiates really sucks and that this isn't quite nearly as bad. However, that hammer I was waiting for hit me at the end of day 8. Symptoms went from level 3 or 4 up to about a 7. Bad enough last night that I considered doing something to stop them for a while. It goes without saying nights are the worst. A lot of it was mental but I am physically uncomfortable now in the middle of day 9. No real new symptoms the ones I have just got worse. Restless more, exhausted, and the chills are with me constantly right now. Headache is new. That could be from the cocktail of crap I'm taking and lack of sleep though. I had a healthy appetite yesterday. No chance I eat more than soup today. Not running to the bathroom or throwing up but just not feeling like food and I will agree. As long as the creepy crawlies don't hit me I'm committed at this point I think though. I don't have to do this. At any point I can take something to either give me relief long enough so I can rest enough to get back in the fight or go back to maintenance and come up with a real plan. I had never had time off and wanted to see what happens to me. I know everyone is different but I wanted to know what monster I'm facing for myself whether I see this through or not I'll have a better idea of what happens to me when if and when I do it again if I just can't push through this this time. Right now it's middle of day 9 and I'm still in the fight. But it has gotten tougher at this point. Thanks for checking in though. It was nice to have someone involved if just minimally.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by docm2 » Mon Jul 12, 2021 8:08 am

What is the 'cocktail' you are taking? Does it include clonidine and gabapentin? Both can take the edge off various withdrawal syymptoms and help with sleep. good luck!

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by Headseed » Mon Jul 12, 2021 1:28 pm

I'll answer docm2 before I update. I've taken muscle relaxants and a low dose of benzos along with over the counter meds (advil, tylenol, aleve) at night and pretty much nothing in the day. I didn't think I had gabapentin but found some in the drawer. I wasn't sure how much to take or when and I'm trying to take as little as possible of everything. But I did take 300mg night before last (the 1st really bad night I had). I didn't see a big difference but again I didn't know what dose or when I should take it. For all I know it keeps you awake. My supply of the benzos and gabapentin are both old and limited so I'm using them sparingly. If you have dosing suggestions I'm all ears. Understanding you aren't giving medical advice yada, yada, yada.

Now for update. I've lost track of days... I think this is 10? Yesterday was by far the worst so far. Symptoms just wouldn't let up except when I was in the shower and my skin can't handle taking more than a couple a day. My temperature just would not regulate at all last night which made it miserable. I couldn't get covers on top of me before I was hot. Start to take them off and I'd be cold before I could lay back again. Restlessness was high again. Had just a bit of creepy crawlies which would have ended my experiment had they continued. Thankfully they abated before I really tried to sleep. This experience has for sure left the realm of "is this it?" but it's still not as bad as I expected at least to this point other than the duration is now starting to become an issue a bit. I just sort of feel lost in space right now. I'm not sure how many more nights in a row I can handle like the last two though. I'm committed to continuing I think but I may have to take something for a night free of symptoms if it keeps ramping up every night. We'll see I guess.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by Headseed » Tue Jul 13, 2021 3:44 pm

Day 11? Another awful night. Worst yet. Almost as bad as night 3 of kicking oxy/fent. but not quite. Maybe 70% of that. Today sucks as well. To answer my own initial question the answer undoubtedly was that was not it. lol

I wouldn't have ever dreamed it would take 10ish days to reach the worst of it. At this point I'm still in it but just updating these couple of sentences is a major chore.

onward and upward? maybe.... cya tomorrow?

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by rule62 » Tue Jul 13, 2021 10:07 pm

You're a stronger man than me. The only way I'd do it would be to taper very slowly like many others before us. A few posted here that they barely felt any w/d's at all when they got down to a fraction of a milligram. One day I may stop but it's not on my short list.

All the suffering you've had will hopefully get less and less. I guess you found out how long buprenorphine stays in your system. 24mg's is very large amount and your body just stored all the extra. A whole week until you felt any w/d's, wow!

Thanks for keeping us all updated.
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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by coloradoclean » Wed Jul 14, 2021 1:37 pm

Wow!!!! I'll say this. I was a special ops guy, cop, been shot and died to be brought back. I'd rather get shot than go through the sub withdrawal I had the last 2 times I quit. Either your hard as nails or u may have a genetic or enzyme advantage . What I mean by that is it processes differently in different people. I hope this time my jump is similar to yours . Either way that's sweet sorry some reason I missed a few posts. Yah man. Day 14 is the absolute worst for me. From then on smooth sailing comparatively with 1 or 2 shit days

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey

Post by Headseed » Wed Jul 14, 2021 2:24 pm

Finally something to lend a bit of hope..... I think. Day.... 11? 12? Fuck I lose track and it isn't that important. Last night was bad for a few hours. Bad but not anything like the previous nights. Showering before bed had some weird emotional shit hit out of the blue but it's just brain chemicals fucking with me about things I can't change anyway. That generally passes for me pretty quickly. I managed some rest from about 5 until 10 this morning. Not sleep necessarily but I wasn't clawing anything or playing peek a boo with an imaginary fire breathing dragon while swimming in a Jaghut sea. I was just uncomfortable. Mid way through the day now and I'm feeling pretty good. The best I've been in 3-4 days at least. I'm not ready to do anything substantive unless I was just forced into it but I'm up, eating, and managed to deal with the trash and sweep up a mess. So I'm not completely useless. My normal routine is pretty flexible anyway so I do what I do.

I don't know if last night was turning the corner or not. Hell if I know. Like I said I went in wide eyed stupid. I've had a couple of ups and downs where I thought this was either going to be much easier than I expected or that I was in the home stretch then get hit pretty hard so I'm not putting too much stock in this "being it" But I'm hopeful that it's at least the end of successive awful nights. It's nowhere near the kicks I've had in the past so I know it can be done I'm just older and tired now. I know I can end this at any point which strangely makes it easier. The substances to do so are by the bed and there's only been one time I seriously considered it. Ten years ago and I'd have been ending this in hours instead of days/weeks.

I'm about as weak as they come most days. This isn't super hero shit. I'm just tired. Tired of substances, tired of spending the money on it, tired of the doctors, tired of the legal bullshit put on the doctors.... Tired of all of it. I've spent the better part of 20 years, pretty much my entire adult life, chained to these things. I can't see doing this when I'm 50/60/70 so now was just sort of time to see what happens at least. I've got some life to live that needs me to be more than I've been for a while. So, this far in I'm not looking to quit just yet. I remember how bad PAWS can be as well..... rode that merry go round a couple of times so I'm familiar with the motions it makes. So onward? We'll see tomorrow I guess. But things at least look better at the min.

OH and rule I had symptoms pretty quickly. They were just very minor. It was probably day 6 before it started messing with sleep etc. The main issue was how tired I was. But yeah it was a good 8-9-10 days before it peaked (assuming I've peaked). As of this min though I'd still take this over other opiate withdrawal every day of the week and twice on sunday. I may change my mind if this carries on for another week at this same level though. Current pain is the worst pain so it's hard to compare them. So I don't know. I'm at home for this one which is for sure a plus compared to the dungeon of the rehab I went to years ago to kick oxy/fent.That's another story for another thread one day maybe. Suffice it to say I've got a gas can and a match for that place if I ever figure out how to get away with it.

Onward and at least sideways I hope! cya tomorrow?

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by coloradoclean » Thu Jul 15, 2021 11:35 am

Congrats man it's all small hills and a big slide down at the end. You are there!!! Never ever look back !

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by Headseed » Thu Jul 15, 2021 12:54 pm

You have more confidence than me at the moment. Yesterday was pretty good after my update. Night was not the worst but it was bad. I'm just exhausted more than anything at this point. I'm considering a night of symptom free sleep at this point. Not the first time I've considered it but I'm REALLY close to it now. Which means some substance in the opiate family. Not recommended I know.... Just having one of those days I guess. It's amazing what can be what feels like the final straw. I was up and killing it yesterday afternoon, mowed, did other outside chores etc., came in, showered, and CRASHED. Like the life drained from me and I was OUT. Less than an hour later I'm miserable because I can't sleep fighting symptoms I'd been mostly free of all day. So last night just fucked with me badly. If I were "fresh" it would have been just more level 5 suck of day whatever. But I'm spent. Battery flashing red right now. I wish there were more info available as to what sort of tax the withdrawal gods will exact if I do put opiates in my system to sleep for a night. I've searched and don't find good info anywhere. It's all you're an addict and you'll be off to the races type shit. I'm not worried about going off the rails etc. just don't want to set myself back a week or more.... although right now I'm not sure it wouldn't be worth it. Onward? Damned sure wasn't upward today. Cya tomorrow.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by coloradoclean » Thu Jul 15, 2021 10:40 pm

Don't take any opiates man. Try taking something like kelp (iodine) 90 % of people are severely deficient gave me mad energy in withdrawal last time. Can u not get sleep meds from a doc ?

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by Headseed » Fri Jul 16, 2021 2:55 pm

My addiction issues weren't ever severe as those things go. As long as I have someone I'm accountable to and don't feel like I'm having to hide shit or be ashamed of anything I'm good with short term use..... not to say I'm eager to test that out over and over but it's been demonstrated a few times now. I've had a handful of substances in my medicine drawer for several years now that I never think about.... until I'm as miserable as I've been these last few days. They've actually made me sick the last few times I've had a reason to have to be on them for a few days. They did migrate to the bedside the other day....So while I'm still considering it I'm hanging in there for now. I've got two nails dug in now instead of the one to hang by. Like I said from the start this isn't about anyone but me. Nobody around me even suggested it. I talked about it over and over and it's never "time". So I just woke up a couple of weeks ago and told everyone it was time..... so here I am. I just know how it goes with my situation. The time will never be "right" and a taper that takes a year won't ever start or end at the "right" time either. I keep hoping I'm rounding a bend as I did have some good DAYS but nights have still been miserable and today is the worst DAY I think I've had. I think I'm just tired. This too shall pass as they say.....

You asked about sleep meds... I've got benzos and trazadone. None of it seems to help and traz just gives me a headache so I don't take it. There have been nights I've skipped the low dose of benzos just because I end up groggy. Not worth it sometimes.

Onward? We'll see about upward tomorrow.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by coloradoclean » Fri Jul 16, 2021 5:52 pm

The sleep part is what always has me turning back too. Can u get gabapentin? Man it's kicking butt for me right now. I slept 9 hours last night through soaked sheets woke up and ran out the towel I slept on and felt great the rest of the day. I'm not sure if you have access to a doc but a quick online appointment or phone call could get you better sleep meds.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by Headseed » Fri Jul 16, 2021 7:35 pm

I have a veritable pharmacy at my finger tips... so yes I have Neurotin. I don't have a clue how much of it to take though for withdrawal. I took 300 mg the other night when I got the creepy crawlies and they went away. So I'm not opposed to it I just don't like taking extra shit when I know nothing is going to make me sleep. Just end up in a fog the next day. But I'd slap my mama to stop the creepy crawlies..... twice. The rest is running me down but that I cannot abide. Not if I don't have to anyway.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by coloradoclean » Fri Jul 16, 2021 8:34 pm

300 is super low. I take 900 every few hours. ITS what makes sleep easy. If anything taking 600 at bedtime would probably work. I wake up groggy for maybe 20 minutes first time taking it so no tolerance at all yet . It rocks

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by Headseed » Fri Jul 16, 2021 10:16 pm

coloradoclean wrote:
Fri Jul 16, 2021 8:34 pm
300 is super low. I take 900 every few hours. ITS what makes sleep easy. If anything taking 600 at bedtime would probably work. I wake up groggy for maybe 20 minutes first time taking it so no tolerance at all yet . It rocks
Appreciate the tip. I might give that a try tonight rather than the benzos. I've been on high doses of gaba before so I'm not unfamiliar with it... just never used it for withdrawal and always was encouraged to titrate... which I did. Going to 900mg every few hours straight out I would expect some pretty wicked side effects.... so be careful when you decide to stop. You might get another rude awakening if you don't step down off it as well. I would encourage you to read about it a bit at a minimum before you're in too deep with it. A few days probably isn't a big deal.. YMMV I'm not a DR...

Today was miserable most of the day for some reason.... stomach issues hit out of the blue. Took some lomatil and instantly I feel better...... decided to go read the pharmalogical shit on it because it was a pretty significant change and apparently it has been tested in withdrawing people from methadone..... do with that what you will. I think these were made shortly after the stars and dirt so if you had some manufactured more recently they might really be helpful rather than just easing. Another one of those things where I'm not a doctor and I'm not telling you to do what I'm doing. While everything in my possession was prescribed to me and nothing I'm doing is likely out of the realm of acceptable treatments I'm not under supervision. So please anyone reading this be careful. If you aren't sure about something talk to a doctor and don't take my word on it. Onward! Upward? I think so... cya tomorrow. Feel free to message me if you don't want to talk openly. I'm just doing this because I searched for cold turkey and most of the links were dead. So I'm taking one square in the face in the name of posterity.

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by Headseed » Sat Jul 17, 2021 10:57 am

I usually wait till later in the day to update.... partially because it's taken me that long to drag my ass out of bed..... but here I am... Day??? 15? 16? Fuck if I know..... at any rate. I feel human today. Only issue is I'm still cold.... or hot.... but mostly cold. I keep my house meat locker cold typically 63/64 but have had to bump it on up to as high as 70/72 the last couple days. Last night was MOSTLY tolerable and I actually slept a bit.... more fucking dreams but there weren't any that messed with me like the night before. Strangely not a single drug dream in this entire process. I remember kicking every other time how vivid those were.... praise jobu, thank hood, and every other hoary ascendant I can think of for that small blessing. Going from almost never having a dream of any sort to having vivid use dreams when you're trying to avoid substances is the worst. Yesterday I had a bit of a pity party in the morning.... I was just stuck in the suck from the night before and exhausted. It's amazing how much you can flip over night and what real rest can do for you. The only thing I ended up taking was a standard dose of lomatil as directed. The opiates are back in the drawer again..... firm hand hold again for the moment. For whatever that's worth. If I've learned anything from this it's that I don't know what I don't know about this particular carnival attraction. Onward? Upward? Seems to be....

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Re: Is this it? Went Cold Turkey EDIT: This was not it! lol

Post by coloradoclean » Sat Jul 17, 2021 7:55 pm

I'm so impressed! Your kicking butt dude for freaking sure! I posted a reply earlier buy I guess it didn't post or something. How you feeling now ?

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